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% b' l2 L9 O6 @* J/ H ?& M6 Qmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:#006EFE;mso-font-kerning:0pt">群“重温经典读书会”49231471辅导我们学习《论语》。贾陆英老师一直记挂着我们这群“大学生”，原本这节课是安排在周三下午的，但贾老师届时另有要事，所以今日上午便特地在群里发出预告，提前到今日下午开课。有此良师，夫复何求？闲话少叙，立即把上课实录整理奉上。3 p5 j9 X' i2 [. D" d% n0 qmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">今天下午，我们学习讨论《论语》为政篇第4 }# G* a) u9 dmso-font-kerning:0pt">52 \0 k( W3 {3 y. W* gfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
9 e s5 z! S* F4 [" Smso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">章：. p$ K% H, q0 h9 c- I- @3 c M* J
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" L) z9 W( }" B: d6 zmso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子问孝，子曰：: u6 y; S3 J. y+ V) H8 [0 b3 T: \
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">无违。6 T& r# z# H" b* v5 Z2 @3 q* i' Y5 Dmso-font-kerning:0pt">”! V5 T- h. }, w2 P/ X0 b+ a8 x- z
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">樊迟御，子告之曰：" B5 f/ Y9 e. dmso-font-kerning:0pt">“" K7 L- Q* w9 o8 G/ [- G
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟孙问孝于我，我对曰无违。2 Q/ j ?3 x4 ^. L' Z4 R- acolor:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”) G+ S+ }2 {5 X* G' u
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">樊迟曰：4 D/ S; t7 O' \) d5 Gmso-font-kerning:0pt">“; ~4 Q9 K) B0 B$ I: Y1 a. M
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">何谓也？8 }$ c" q8 J. ~: m) X
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# r# {4 g6 I5 p* D6 ?4 pmso-font-kerning:0pt">生，事之以礼；死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。) k4 E% M/ p3 g4 L
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子：鲁国大夫，三家之一，姓仲孙，名何忌，懿是谥号。他的父亲孟僖子临死时要他向孔子学礼。无违：不要违背礼。樊迟：孔子的学生，名须，字子迟，比孔子小四十六岁。御：驾驶马车。孟孙：指孟懿子。/ ~& R9 E* H% @. t; p5 {; q
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. o. b, P; O/ u2 }* Tmso-font-kerning:0pt">孟懿子请教孔子什么是孝，孔子说：; _. d( g; w7 B
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) N' {3 A7 Q8 Imso-font-kerning:0pt">孝就是不要违背礼。- h; C" m; M" F. r8 m8 X0 r4 j* b10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">”3 z& k: \ Z, f1 H" v
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mso-font-kerning:0pt">一天，樊迟给孔子驾车，孔子告诉他说：& L2 \4 A7 z: w6 {6 N& f. E0pt">"+ `; V& d( Z! E# f$ c7 N, z9 G# z* O1 Lmso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;mso-bidi-font-family:8 q: s @7 ] w! ^5 i; C) ~
Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孟孙问我什么是孝，我回答他说不要违背礼。$ d4 ?: x- _* mmso-font-kerning:0pt">"' U# {0 D8 v, @4 Z& N8 S( I0 Rfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; u1 p. }+ p+ J- G! t* K7 A5 q
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">樊迟说：, q/ O* ^) l: O$ @, @, {3 Z
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">这是什么意思呢4 O# n+ r! u! |mso-font-kerning:0pt">?" , M/ G1 e; T9 X* u7 F4 P) d
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孔子说：5 B. `, X" `# \! M6 P. b3 c
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">父母活着的时候，要按礼侍奉他们；父母死了，要按礼来埋葬他们，祭祀他们。! S( n. _. |; X6 [% K
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">问：怎样理解孝就是! W) o& V: M- M9 E' H10.5pt;font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">“1 E# v0 M3 U4 Z; K4 [8 Nfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;/ f* |$ t0 R8 [/ k
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: h6 p6 k% H' Ymso-font-kerning:0pt">答：孔子教人是很讲针对性的。孟懿子不能遵从他父亲贤而好礼之教，所以孔子针对他讲得; F% A, v4 X5 S. N! |* i Wmso-font-kerning:0pt">“1 W2 {8 b& T7 l t& @; w4 R, J4 \font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma; `5 t9 F* g) h6 n, n8 p6 |/ s& v
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">无违* o/ W3 ?+ r9 o0 T2 [2 T2 Lmso-font-kerning:0pt">”1 }( ^6 P7 J/ e( i Y9 H, l& sfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
6 O2 t# a" T; v, n# v: Jmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，就是不要违背父亲的教诲，这是就具体情况所做的回答。但是就普遍事理而言，孔子讲 \$ r0 K0 D+ |& f' R# u% o; f
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">无违# M( f7 p8 l$ q) k( o3 ?. |mso-font-kerning:0pt">”) G D) h1 T! Y
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">，强调要以礼事亲，不可违背于礼，" h$ l# P- z$ [' m8 h |
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">生，事之以礼。死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。- S( L3 M9 _! l0 N6 Qmso-font-kerning:0pt">”* [$ o$ g# E ~0 _1 D! ?% P9 j! a8 \6 ~font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
6 X& g# Z: i: lmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">父母在世，如有不合乎礼的言行，子女是不应当顺从的，而要以合乎礼的方法劝谏，这是对父母真正的爱护、尊敬。孝的精神，还应当体现在父母去世以后，要按照礼制去安葬他们、祭祀他们，这才算子女尽孝有始有终。* J$ H d7 ~: |
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]% Q5 x1 g' g- _: rmso-font-kerning:0pt">答：本章谈孝的重点是，孝要落实到礼上。孔子讲仁与礼的关系，一方面强调仁是礼的核心，礼应当体现仁的精神；另一方面又强调，礼的规定体现了仁的要求，依礼而行就是仁。据此，是否做到了孝，要以是否依礼而行来衡量。4 D: ? N* L3 ?
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝最重要的是心敬，心敬外化出来的表现是礼遇！反过来说，虽然礼遇有加未必出于心敬，但若是不加礼遇那就一定是心不敬，也就是不孝啦。所以外在的礼对于孝来说很重要，如若无礼那必然是不孝！对父母尽孝道，是义; [# Z' z3 |( R+ s2 i* t, ]mso-font-kerning:0pt">
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; @5 Y t+ [; Q* ?6 PTahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝最重要的是心敬，心敬外化出来的表现是礼遇！& {: |6 h# v+ B& D. V3 m# ^3 S
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0 l" O& z" C9 s! o; jmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">赞同。孝的本质，是发自内心的对父母的恭敬和感恩之情。有此心，才会有孝行。# [, r0 X9 N7 }8 h
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" b1 g7 @: ?! a" S% ITahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">贾老，昨天晚生正好读到战国时期儒家关于礼、丧、祭的论述4 u: P0 {; X# z, f- r, l2 Lmso-font-kerning:0pt">2; k0 c9 @. z' b* v1 ]font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;3 n- o& ~- b+ o* I- E s. p
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对父母的孝道，是义。如何尽孝，是礼。如何行礼，就是生而不违，去世行丧礼，祭祀行祭礼。对父母的孝，绝对不能行功利主义，现在社会上很多人在父母有能力的时候，和颜悦色，等到父母年迈无力，不能给自己帮上什么了，就放弃赡养父母，这是一种巧言令色，有所图谋。这三点做到都是不简单的，先说不违，能够做到遵循父母的教导，按照父母意愿行事之人有几？晚生做不到，起码现在说，不孝有三无后为大，父母成天逼婚，依旧违背了。老吾老以及人之老啊; ]/ l S" k( umso-font-kerning:0pt">
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝，如今还在于与父母交心、沟通，体谅父母的难处，分担父母的责任。现在社会中，生前不依礼事亲，死后大操大办的现象很普遍，成为了陋习，也造成了很大的负担。: o4 R* q6 S6 Fmso-font-kerning:0pt">
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孝经
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Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">孝，如今还在于与父母交心、沟通，体谅父母的难处，分担父母的责任。+ k' s# G' p5 _* ~$ y+ x" w8 N
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对，这是从情感上关心父母，是尽孝的重要内容。生，事之以礼。死，葬之以礼，祭之以礼。& {$ a+ C: J' Q' c( |) _: T
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">对父母的孝道，是义。如何尽孝，是礼。如何行礼，就是生而不违，去世行丧礼，祭祀行祭礼。《孝经》说：: r+ P& B ]; m; J! z
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) C/ J% i) p8 m# D, Z" ]$ s) imso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">礼者，敬而已矣。故敬其父，则子悦；敬其兄，则弟悦；敬其君，则臣悦；敬一人，而千万人悦。所敬者寡，而悦者众，此之谓要道也。. _7 l. Y: H7 X( t1 `+ U) x
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">礼的内在依据是孝悌，而外在表现，就是一个$ ]2 x2 L E4 V( W- T; vmso-font-kerning:0pt">“: H; U& U/ j) p9 Xfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;& G k0 m- p) `* W/ P1 v) ]
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">敬! }( o! F5 k+ m. o2 n8 G5 A
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mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">字。所以，如能尊敬他的父亲，那么其儿子就会喜悦；如能尊敬他的兄长，那么其弟弟就会喜悦；如能尊敬他的国君，那么其臣下就会喜悦。尊敬的是一个人，却能使千万人喜悦。所敬者虽然只是少数，而喜悦的人却有千千万万，这就是为什么把推行孝悌之道和礼乐教化称为 u% N- y; b W( J
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' ]/ x% z6 x# A$ G" j# a, Q3 Emso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">要道9 }2 |4 U0 r: f9 E" {2 X& N$ i2 \mso-font-kerning:0pt">”4 j* a; ^ G9 W jfont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;5 t5 o9 N9 [% \# F$ o( T" y
mso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">的意义所在啊。7 ?0 y8 T2 \( d+ y
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+ Q% T" l7 U9 J* {. [0 @Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">嗯，这就是不孝有三的第一种。事谓阿意曲从，陷亲不义，一不孝也。我们通常将的孝顺的8 a. G; x. a9 d" u7 ~' s! k" Dmso-font-kerning:0pt">“% m3 N" E1 n; N: Z+ L$ F) ffont-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:Tahoma;mso-hansi-font-family:Tahoma;
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# R M7 c2 c3 cmso-bidi-font-family:Tahoma;color:black;mso-font-kerning:0pt">其实就是不违的意思) x# n( h1 H, J# Q. G+ O' F
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